Why the world laughs at us… Part 1

I think this will be a reoccurring post as I find material. For a while, I’ve been saving all those stupid “Christian” pamphlets like “Only Read the KJV…” and I’ve decided to share some of the better ones with you guys.  I thought I’d get us started with some brilliantly obnoxious, theologically obscene, and just plain goofy church signs.  I had a few written down but I found most of them here at http://crummychurchsigns.blogspot.com/ .  This guy not only posts pictures of the signs but he has great comments on all of them like

“You think it’s hot here….”
-submitted by Laua Enfinger, Arizona
This is the fourth sign I have received from Arizona comparing it to hell. I don’t think I plan on visiting there.

I spent 2 days just reading his stuff.

Well here are some of my favorites:

·         When Satan knocks at your door simply say Jesus would you get that for me?

·         Smoking or Non-Smoking?

·         Rollin’ back prices on salvation!

·         Worry is the darkroom where negatives develop

·         Satan can never knock you farther than your knees

·         Warning: Exposure to the Son may prevent burning

·         For all you do His blood’s for you

·         Can’t sleep? Try counting your blessings!

·         Under the same management for 2000 years

·         We should be more concerned with the Rock of Ages than with the Age of Rocks

·         God has a big eraser.

·         What vitamins do Christians need? 2 B1 Daily.

·         Good – 0 = God

·         Can’t stand the heat? Reserve your place in heaven today!

·         Forecast for Heaven: Reign Forever!!

·         Salvation: apply within

·         Go to church or the devil will get you.

·         Road Rage: How would Jesus Drive?

·         The King’s alive and His name ain’t Elvis!

·         Loose tongues get in tight spaces.

·         3 Nails + 1 Savior = 4 giveness

·         Forbidden fruits make the worst jams

·         Abortion: Hitler would have loved it

·         Free trip to heaven: Inquire within

·         Cards over Yanks in 6!! Jesus over Death in 3!!

·         Get an afterlife

·         Try Jesus….If you don’t like Him, the devil will always take you back

·         Love is like bread; it should be made daily

·         Sign vandals are the scum of the earth.

·         Git-R-Dun Fer God

·         Stop, drop, and roll doesn’t work in hell

·         Jesus is coming back soon. Look busy!

·         Hungry? Try one of our Sundays!

·         Parking for church business only. Violators will be baptized.

·         Even Jesus was into body piercing!!

·         A free thinker is Satan’s slave

·         Need a new look? Get your faith lifted here!

·         As my apprentice, you’re never fired. – God

·         Jesus is a major part of Christmas.

·         When you run out of sick days and call in dead, who will answer?

·         Get right or get left.

·         Trespassers will be converted

·         A warm church, like warm butter, will spread.

·         Easter is a joke on the devil. Ha!

·         Without Christ life is all fun and games until you die and go to hell

·         Somebody call 911, because this church is on fire.

·         When your life needs rebooting, remember Jesus SAVES.

·         Be fishers of Men. You catch ‘em, He’ll clean ‘em

·         If you can read this sign you can still be forgiven by God

·         Heaven is sweet, hell is hot, you’re going to one, ready or not

·         I’m Jesus, and I approve this message.

·         Bring your sin to the alter And drop it like it’s hot. Drop it like it’s hot.

·         Good thing Mary didn’t have an abortion.

·         Too busy for life? We’re never to busy to attend our own funeral.

·         Be thankful for dirty dishes, because that means you have food to eat.

·         In your right hand, there are pleasures forever.

·         Come jam with the lamb.

·         God’s yard sale: rejects accepted.

·         The size of the tool doesn’t matter in the master’s hand

·         God grades on the cross not the curve